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Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Friday, May 15, 2015

Your Tie

Your Tie is the Noose That Your Life Hangs You By


To an eternal Philosopher, uneasy thoughts cross one's mind often.

Uneasy, perhaps, to those unaccustomed to questioning their mortality; but a foray into the norm for those like myself, who fully embrace the fact that life ends when it ends.

I recently had a few job interviews, for which I wore suits; one of the things that I despise most abjectly.

While sitting in a waiting room among other applicants, a thought crossed my mind...

"Your Tie is the Noose That Your Life Hangs You By"



Consider the occasions at which you wear a tie:

Formal Events
Funerals
Weddings
Important Meetings
... and finally...
Resting in your own coffin, while bugs devour the rest of you.


Each instance, another sign that life is shorter.  Major life (and end-of-life) events; both yours and those of others.

People often say they "feel older" after these things, and for a good reason... each one is a major benchmark in one's life!  Partaking in these events (from a participatory capacity; not a professional one) ages a person, because they are often celebrating their own life or someone's that they've known for a long time.
 
 

Consider, also, the type of people who have to wear suits and/or ties in their careers...

People who wear them by choice seem happy, but people who are required to wear them but otherwise would not often seem very displeased with life... "dead inside".

It could be said that many people who wear suits daily, being Executives of large corporations, possess no sign of life anyway; bereft of conscience and over-abundant of narcissism; their groping piggy fingers abjectly removing life from those that they deem inferior to themselves, while simultaneously sucking the life from the planet.  Those who have no life of their own must remove it from others.

This is why they require their lessers to wear ties... to make those at the bottom believe they're more valuable than they are perceived to be... a smoke-screen... fish food for the gullible.

By artificially inflating the worth of those at the bottom, they are able to create enough misery within their souls for the soulless executives to feed upon.


Be it for profession or for celebration, one's tie shortens their life.  I entertain the belief that the less time one spends in a tie, the better their life will be.

'Tis true... "Your Tie is the Noose That Your Life Hangs You By"... whether it makes you dead inside, causing the slow death of others, witnessing life's landmarks, or embracing your final outfit.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Every Sunrise and Sunset




I want to see
Every sunrise
And every sunset
With you.

The world melts away
When I sit
In Peace
With you.

This poem
Has no determinable meter
And is even missing punctuation
But I don't care

That part
Is there
Because I love
The way you laugh!

But I'll keep
This chaotic word salad going
Because I love it
When you smile!

And I know
That your eyes shine
When you
Think of me

So you can come
back here at any given
time

And think of me

And laugh

And smile

Again.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

A Good Laugh!

**This post will be updated as new stuff is made**




A good laugh is one of the things that always makes one's day better and brighter, on ANY given day!  It is in that vein that I decided to start this string.

With that in mind, I realize that not everyone has the same idea as to what is funny, what is insulting, what is absurd, and what is considered to be 'tasteful'.  Some of this material may be insulting, or 'tasteless', or 'lame'... but who really cares?  Some people LIKE 'lame' things!  Some people LIKE 'tasteless' things!  Some people LIKE 'absurd' things!  Some people LIKE insulting things!  As mentioned in my last post, being a big fan of satire, I am no stranger to the utilization of 'objectionable material' as a means to get a laugh, as long as it makes a valid point (as seen, for example, in the BRILLIANT satire, "The Onion Movie").

One thing, however, that you will NOT see in my work are things that are RACIST, MISOGYNISTIC, HOMO/TRANSPHOBIC, ISLAMOPHOBIC, OR ANTI-SEMITIC!  Racism and the other aforementioned perversions are a plague on humanity, and I refuse to stoop to such a pathetic low as to endorse these topics.  Racists and homophobes are abominations against society.

With that in mind, please enjoy this gallery!



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WHERE'S BRETT?!?!?!

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When Gods talk about the horror stories that came with raising their kids
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A not-so long time ago, in a city not-so far away...

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